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The obsevations of a 50something women

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The weather is getting so much better

When you have lost faith in yourself even the smallest tasks can seem too difficult. They seem pointless. A few weeks ago I had to force myself to make dinner for my children. I had to force myself to do normal tasks around the house. I didn’t care how I looked I just followed my personal routine out of habit.



I found it next to impossible to leave the house and see friends. When I did I worried I would either break down into shameful tears or go on an angry rant, I would scurry home after a short time. Each day was a duty call and I made it to the end of each day only by putting one foot ahead of the other. I tried not to look up and see where I was going because I was really afraid of what I would see.



In the last week I felt my personal weather changing. It is not so dark and gloomy all the time the clouds seemed to be lifting. I felt more determined to get on with life rather then just survive the day. Today thanks to the support of my old boss and his confidence in me I have been given a positive forecast with an opportunity to do a sales contract for a property development company. I am so excited and relieved. The real me was present and engaged today. I truly feel I can walk now without looking at my feet.

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